1. |
Windows
05:44
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It’s the end of an era
Past falls down to the floor
Molted history at my feet
Irreversibly shorn
Falling in love again
Light in all of the windows
Filtered, gilded like home
Far removed from the old days
Gleaming behind me like bone
Leaving it all behind
Shadow of grief at the shoulder
Some sort of half-life here
Light in all of the windows
Confirmation of my fears
Running away from love
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2. |
Feel something
03:56
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I’ve tried everything under the sun to get you wanting
Consulted every trick in the book
And every time I open my mouth I say the wrong thing
Would be better off having left it shut
I just wanna know if you feel something
‘Cause the world keeps turning and all I know is
I want you to be here through it
The world is burning and all I know is I
I just wanna know if you feel something
Say my name again, once more with feeling
And I’ll write off your apathy as subtext
Every time my heart’s in my mouth I do the same thing
Powerless to stop, hits me in the chest
‘Cause the world keeps turning and all I know is
I want you to be here through it
The world is burning and all I know is I
I just wanna know if you feel something
If the world kept turning and you weren’t in it
I don’t think I could forgive it
The world keeps turning and all I know is I
I just wanna know if you feel something
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3. |
Sun in my eyes
04:27
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Told you I settled the score
But I’m not as sure anymore
Watching you across the stage
Some vast debt feels unpaid
Tell me you feel it too
Shone on the skin like a bruise
You’re like sun in my eyes
You’re like sun in my eyes
Played you a song in the car
Now I can’t listen to it anymore
This is a lovely thing
But you don’t see it in me, you don’t see that in me
All of the signs we’re passing
Doesn’t it feel like rapture
You’re like sun in my eyes
You’re like sun in my eyes
Fell into something I didn’t recognize
And every time I talk to you I remember why
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4. |
Alameda
03:22
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I scare you, ghost, I know I’m scaring you
How long till I ruin a good thing
I feel too much, deliver frightening truths
To ears only half-primed to listen
Every time we pass Alameda
I wonder when we’ll settle into these skins
This is what a full life feels like
Comfort in this stillness, in this sun
How long can I keep waiting for you, ghost
Before I face it head on
How long can I keep lying about it, ghost
Ignore the fact that you’re long gone
Every time I pass Alameda
I hope I will have settled by the next
Confronted the truth of the matter
Left behind me, laid it all to rest
And none of this will ever be enough
None of this will ever be enough
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5. |
Everything is changing
03:45
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I thought time had steeled me well
But I’m falling again
And what I thought was a constant
Is just another end
These days are such strange and shifting things
Trying to keep a hold on everything
Floor is falling out
From underneath my feet again
Always an untimely end
Everything is changing
And I don’t know what to do
How to find a modicum of control
Everything is changing
And I don’t know how to reconcile
With all this unsettled ground
Past all over the room, in every crack
Thinking of running away and not coming back
Floor is falling out
From underneath my feet again
Always an untimely end
Everything is changing
And I don’t know what to do
How to find a modicum of control
Everything is changing
And I don’t know how to reconcile
With all this unsettled ground
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6. |
3 2 1
03:01
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Up with the sun
Shifting round the kitchen, numb and behaved
Luck don’t come my way too much these days
Wary of what it could bring
Risen in spring
You fell right into my life, and I’m trying
To keep my heart from running out of my mouth
Shaky like a shifting dream
Something in the way you’re looking at me
Makes me think I’m wrong
And this has been building up
To something real all along
Pulse in my throat
Twitching, wondering if you already know
What I’m trying to bury, trying to be cold
But feel you bubbling up in me
Useless as ever
Loosen my guard and I’m thinking of forever
Letting this out, oh, what could be better?
Back where I started, and don't want to leave
Something in the way you’re looking at me
Makes me think I’m wrong
And this has been building up
To something real all along
Something in the way you’re looking at me
No, I just can’t take it
Counting down to make another empty wish,
a 3-2-1
So used to running, thought I could evade
But you always get me back in your grasp
Something about these sweltering days
I can’t escape
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7. |
It is happening again
04:57
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I gotta tell you something, baby
Lately I’m feeling like I’m breaking
Can’t figure myself out anymore
I wasn’t thinking about it anymore
Left it behind me, thought you shut the door
Something else opens and I am unsure
See you standing at the foot of the bed
Saying something I wish I could forget
Why couldn’t we have let it all go unsaid
So much easier that way
Stepped on the plane and felt you fall behind
But you come rushing back every time
Wellspring leaps right back to life
And it is happening again
It is happening again
You know that everybody loves you
We’re all just vying for a moment
And I was handed mine, I was resolute
I let you go, I thought I knew the truth
Until you surprised me with some news
Thought I was rid of it, thought I’d paid my dues
See you standing at the end of your road
Shivering, coming in from the cold
I’ve never had a penchant for the bold
Would’ve said something that day
Standing at the gate, heart in my throat
I turned around wondered if you’d watch me go
It felt like I was leaving you for the first time
And it is happening again
It is happening again
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8. |
The next time I see you
03:41
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Things haven’t been the same
I am losing belief
A half-forgotten dream
At the end of your lane
The next time I see you
It’ll all be fine
The next time I see you
It’ll all be right
My shirt doesn’t smell
Like you anymore
Throw open all the windows
And sit in the sun
Soft brush with death
Baby-blond head turned away
Crown-kissed by sun like a mother
The next time I see you
It’ll all be fine
The next time I see you
It’ll all be right
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9. |
You make me happy
03:19
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I don’t want to talk
But your face loosens my tongue
Frees the things I wish I could hold in
for a little longer
Trying to keep quiet
But the drinks make me so loud
Haven’t seen you in quite some time
and absence has made me fonder
I want to die in your arms
And you look at me like I’m a stranger
You make me so happy
But you make me so, so sad
But you make me happy
Let’s run off and get married
Catch this feeling forever
You make me happy
Don’t say a word
I don’t want you to break
The fragile construct I have built
around this swelling feeling
Just let me run away with my own truth
Pretend I’ve got the rest of my life
to be this close to you
I want to lay myself at your feet
Can’t help that it’s in my nature
You make me so happy
But you make me so, so sad
But you make me happy
Let’s run off and get married
Catch this feeling forever
You make me happy
When my mind gets scary
You help bring me back down
Help me see clearly
Let’s run off and get married
Catch this feeling forever
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10. |
Swimming / Anniversary
05:59
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Don’t give me words I don’t want
Car parked at the end of your block
The swelter of this summer forever
In the cups of the hands, the backs of the eyes
No sign of the end
Wait for sun to melt the monument
It’s been a long while
Swimming in your eyes
Swimming in your skin
Swimming in your hair
Sing your song for me again
When will this gale end
I can’t look at you
Because if I look at you you’ll know
Swimming in your eyes
Swimming in your skin
Swimming in your hair
//
It’s the anniversary
Of this floating feeling
It may never let up
Another beautiful thing
To give up on
I have so many dreams
This will die like all the rest
Just give it time
Just give it time
Just give it time
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11. |
Ascendance
06:39
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Holding my breath waiting for what feels like an ending
To feel it coming, coming
There’s a stillness in the air, a lavender light in the window
And it feels like home
Waiting for the shadows to whisper something back in the silence
To break this quiet
Light in the trees, skies overcast in the distance
And it aches like home
If I’d known you were going
I would’ve said something
Instead of saying nothing
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hayden casey
hayden casey is a musician and writer living in arizona.
his next album, ISOLA, will be released in march 2024.
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