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Calamities

by hayden casey

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SnorriSputnik
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SnorriSputnik Love this shoegazy sound! Such a great album, and Hayden's voice puts me in a trance. I hope to hear similar songs from this artist in the future! Favorite track: Sun in my eyes.
Orkun Akbal
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Orkun Akbal A gorgeous album through and through Favorite track: Alameda.
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1.
Windows 05:44
It’s the end of an era Past falls down to the floor Molted history at my feet Irreversibly shorn Falling in love again Light in all of the windows Filtered, gilded like home Far removed from the old days Gleaming behind me like bone Leaving it all behind Shadow of grief at the shoulder Some sort of half-life here Light in all of the windows Confirmation of my fears Running away from love
2.
I’ve tried everything under the sun to get you wanting Consulted every trick in the book And every time I open my mouth I say the wrong thing Would be better off having left it shut I just wanna know if you feel something ‘Cause the world keeps turning and all I know is I want you to be here through it The world is burning and all I know is I I just wanna know if you feel something Say my name again, once more with feeling And I’ll write off your apathy as subtext Every time my heart’s in my mouth I do the same thing Powerless to stop, hits me in the chest ‘Cause the world keeps turning and all I know is I want you to be here through it The world is burning and all I know is I I just wanna know if you feel something If the world kept turning and you weren’t in it I don’t think I could forgive it The world keeps turning and all I know is I I just wanna know if you feel something
3.
Told you I settled the score But I’m not as sure anymore Watching you across the stage Some vast debt feels unpaid Tell me you feel it too Shone on the skin like a bruise You’re like sun in my eyes You’re like sun in my eyes Played you a song in the car Now I can’t listen to it anymore This is a lovely thing But you don’t see it in me, you don’t see that in me All of the signs we’re passing Doesn’t it feel like rapture You’re like sun in my eyes You’re like sun in my eyes Fell into something I didn’t recognize And every time I talk to you I remember why
4.
Alameda 03:22
I scare you, ghost, I know I’m scaring you How long till I ruin a good thing I feel too much, deliver frightening truths To ears only half-primed to listen Every time we pass Alameda I wonder when we’ll settle into these skins This is what a full life feels like Comfort in this stillness, in this sun How long can I keep waiting for you, ghost Before I face it head on How long can I keep lying about it, ghost Ignore the fact that you’re long gone Every time I pass Alameda I hope I will have settled by the next Confronted the truth of the matter Left behind me, laid it all to rest And none of this will ever be enough None of this will ever be enough
5.
I thought time had steeled me well But I’m falling again And what I thought was a constant Is just another end These days are such strange and shifting things Trying to keep a hold on everything Floor is falling out From underneath my feet again Always an untimely end Everything is changing And I don’t know what to do How to find a modicum of control Everything is changing And I don’t know how to reconcile With all this unsettled ground Past all over the room, in every crack Thinking of running away and not coming back Floor is falling out From underneath my feet again Always an untimely end Everything is changing And I don’t know what to do How to find a modicum of control Everything is changing And I don’t know how to reconcile With all this unsettled ground
6.
3 2 1 03:01
Up with the sun Shifting round the kitchen, numb and behaved Luck don’t come my way too much these days Wary of what it could bring Risen in spring You fell right into my life, and I’m trying To keep my heart from running out of my mouth Shaky like a shifting dream Something in the way you’re looking at me Makes me think I’m wrong And this has been building up To something real all along Pulse in my throat Twitching, wondering if you already know What I’m trying to bury, trying to be cold But feel you bubbling up in me Useless as ever Loosen my guard and I’m thinking of forever Letting this out, oh, what could be better? Back where I started, and don't want to leave Something in the way you’re looking at me Makes me think I’m wrong And this has been building up To something real all along Something in the way you’re looking at me No, I just can’t take it Counting down to make another empty wish, a 3-2-1 So used to running, thought I could evade But you always get me back in your grasp Something about these sweltering days I can’t escape
7.
I gotta tell you something, baby Lately I’m feeling like I’m breaking Can’t figure myself out anymore I wasn’t thinking about it anymore Left it behind me, thought you shut the door Something else opens and I am unsure See you standing at the foot of the bed Saying something I wish I could forget Why couldn’t we have let it all go unsaid So much easier that way Stepped on the plane and felt you fall behind But you come rushing back every time Wellspring leaps right back to life And it is happening again It is happening again You know that everybody loves you We’re all just vying for a moment And I was handed mine, I was resolute I let you go, I thought I knew the truth Until you surprised me with some news Thought I was rid of it, thought I’d paid my dues See you standing at the end of your road Shivering, coming in from the cold I’ve never had a penchant for the bold Would’ve said something that day Standing at the gate, heart in my throat I turned around wondered if you’d watch me go It felt like I was leaving you for the first time And it is happening again It is happening again
8.
Things haven’t been the same I am losing belief A half-forgotten dream At the end of your lane The next time I see you It’ll all be fine The next time I see you It’ll all be right My shirt doesn’t smell Like you anymore Throw open all the windows And sit in the sun Soft brush with death Baby-blond head turned away Crown-kissed by sun like a mother The next time I see you It’ll all be fine The next time I see you It’ll all be right
9.
I don’t want to talk But your face loosens my tongue Frees the things I wish I could hold in for a little longer Trying to keep quiet But the drinks make me so loud Haven’t seen you in quite some time and absence has made me fonder I want to die in your arms And you look at me like I’m a stranger You make me so happy But you make me so, so sad But you make me happy Let’s run off and get married Catch this feeling forever You make me happy Don’t say a word I don’t want you to break The fragile construct I have built around this swelling feeling Just let me run away with my own truth Pretend I’ve got the rest of my life to be this close to you I want to lay myself at your feet Can’t help that it’s in my nature You make me so happy But you make me so, so sad But you make me happy Let’s run off and get married Catch this feeling forever You make me happy When my mind gets scary You help bring me back down Help me see clearly Let’s run off and get married Catch this feeling forever
10.
Don’t give me words I don’t want Car parked at the end of your block The swelter of this summer forever In the cups of the hands, the backs of the eyes No sign of the end Wait for sun to melt the monument It’s been a long while Swimming in your eyes Swimming in your skin Swimming in your hair Sing your song for me again When will this gale end I can’t look at you Because if I look at you you’ll know Swimming in your eyes Swimming in your skin Swimming in your hair // It’s the anniversary Of this floating feeling It may never let up Another beautiful thing To give up on I have so many dreams This will die like all the rest Just give it time Just give it time Just give it time
11.
Ascendance 06:39
Holding my breath waiting for what feels like an ending To feel it coming, coming There’s a stillness in the air, a lavender light in the window And it feels like home Waiting for the shadows to whisper something back in the silence To break this quiet Light in the trees, skies overcast in the distance And it aches like home If I’d known you were going I would’ve said something Instead of saying nothing

about

CALAMITY (n.) /kəˈlamɪti/

1. The state or condition of grievous affliction or adversity; deep distress, trouble, or misery, arising from some adverse circumstance or event.

1752 S. Johnson Rambler No. 203. ⁋3 So full is the world of calamity,
that every source of pleasure is polluted.
1753 S. Richardson Hist. Sir Charles Grandison III. xxx. 352 I am in
calamity, my dear. I would love you if you were in calamity.

2. A grievous disaster, an event or circumstance causing loss or misery; a distressing misfortune.

1684 Bp. G. Burnet tr. T. More Utopia 143 Because of any great
Calamity that may have fallen on their Person.
1744 S. Johnson Acct. Life R. Savage 138 It was not his Custom to
look out for distant Calamities.

credits

released March 19, 2021

written, recorded, and produced 2019-2021 by hayden casey
cover art by Karl Frick

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about

hayden casey

hayden casey is a musician and writer living in arizona.
his next album, ISOLA, will be released in march 2024.

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